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Booze Gifts

If you’re going to purchase a gift of booze for someone, and you don’t know their particular spirit / brand, might I suggest the following:

Option 1 – Irish Whiskey: $20 – $100
The middle of the road whiskey, and I don’t mean that in a bad way, I’m a big fan. It’s not generally as “sharp” as a bourbon can be, and they are not generally “peaty/smokey” like most scotches. I’m a fan of both Jameson’s and Bushmills (which are plentifully available in almost every area), and you can increase the value of the gift by incrementing the age of the bottle you purchase.

Option 2 – Johnnie Walker Blue – $200ish
This is the gift if you want to be fancy (and not in a bad way). It’s the “best” of the Johnnie Walker line (a well known and popular scotch), comes in a fancy box, and while isn’t always viewed as being worth the price by connoisseurs, no one is going to be upset about getting a free bottle.

Option 3 – Something Local – $?
There are a lot of craft and micro-distilleries now. So if you live in Seattle, get something from Oola, if you’re from New York, get a bottle of Widow Jane from Brooklyn.

Problems with Rotten Tomatoes

During a discussion on Twitter today, I said this referring to Rotten Tomatoes, and Max replied with this.

As my thoughts are much too long to try and push out in a series of tweets, and as Joe, Robb, and John might care nothing for my opinions, I have decided to post something here.

What are my reasons for hating Rotten Tomatoes? Because it’s terrible. There. Rotten Tomatoes now has a 0% fresh rating. But maybe my opinion isn’t the only one that matters. Maybe the rest of the internet loves the site. I’ll make note of that, but it won’t factor into my official “freshness” rating.

Example: The Sandlot on Rotten Tomatoes. Using the handy Percentage Calculator, I ask it “What is [57]% of [44]?”, and it responds with 25.08. As we can’t be bothered with decimal places, let’s just make that a flat 25. Giving us the same number of “Fresh” reviews as Rotten Tomatoes. That’s all that matters right? These 44 reviews hold the entire judgment on the value of the film, and 19 of them said they were bad so that’s that.

Hey! Pay no attention to the audience score that says that 89% liked it. It’s a “rotten” film. What? You say that the audience score does matter? Fine. We’ll put up the audience score to appease you, but other sites won’t. And since you spend your money on those other sites, it’ll be our official review you’re looking at.

So there you have it. I’ve given my official verdict, and I’m the only official critic on my site that has the real ability to judge Rotten Tomatoes. What’s that? You don’t really exist, but I’m actually very hard of hearing in real life, so I’ll just pretend you said something like “You’re not the only person capable of reviewing websites, there’s tons of people that do it for a living! They’re respected! They’re wise and went to school and have studied the classics!” and I’ll laugh to myself a little bit and say “Okay, but there’s going to be requirements and you need to lay off the exclamation points”. I’ll go ahead and put together some requirements, but just because you meet those requirements doesn’t mean I’ll listen to you. Or you.

And as this imaginary talk goes on, you might get me to admit that Rotten Tomatoes has some useful features like trailers, and forums, and links to tickets and show times. You might also get me to admit that it’d be useful to find more independent films that I might not be aware. And you might also get me to admit that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Whether I agree with it or disagree with it. But since that is a bit of nuanced discussion, it doesn’t matter. Because I’m breaking all this down to a numeric indication of whether or not a highly subjective art form is “good” or not.

  • Date 2015-11-20
  • Author
  • Category Reviews
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My Friend The Phreak

The english (or any other) language is completely deficient in its ability to truly express emotion. Nor will it ever be able to accurately describe my absolute sorrow at the loss of my friend. I will never be able to use it to express my heart wrenching dismay at the fact that he had been diagnosed with cancer. And I will never be able to use it to ever come remotely close to apologize for my fear. My fear that took away my ability to talk to my friend, in a time where I should have been as good a friend to him as he always was to me.

I was truly fortunate in being able to spend a great deal of time with my friend when we worked together. I would slack off and hang out in his office. We would talk about random bullshit and just hang out.
We would turn that random bullshit into a podcast. My friend was the only reason that podcast ever happened. I would show up and act like an idiot. He would put up with my idiocy, edit the show, get his brother to do the artwork, manage the social media crap.

The podcast never got popular. But I don’t care. It wasn’t even particularly any good. But again, I don’t care. Because I have the memories of me and my friend.

My friend accepted me for who I was. Regardless of how stupid, immature, or assholish I can be. My friend was amazing in many ways and I will always be grateful for the time I had with him.

Blayne Alexander. I will miss the ever-loving-fuck out of you. I love you so much.


I’m changing the focus of this site. To be honest, the last several attempts to launch this thing all centered around what was essentially a soulless and empty proposition.

My favorite site to date has been dead for years, never had much traffic, and was poorly written.

However, it was the most intimate and heartfelt thing I’ve ever put on the Internet.

Since then I’ve launched several sites. Some of which made decent money, from respectable traffic, and were very little work.

I never really cared for any of them.

When I relaunched Boom! Explosion! I set out to make another site that generated a side income. A site that would be yet another boring “resource” capitalizing on the glut of pop culture consumption. A site that would pump out content content content. A site that I wouldn’t want to read.

So fuck that. I’m going back to what I did in the beginning. I’ll be posting unintelligible bullshit through a filter of too much emotion that no one but a few friends and my therapist would bother to slog through.

But at least I’ll feel good about it.

  • Date 2015-01-28
  • Author
  • Category Words
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Books Patrick Rhone Read In 2014

If you’re not familiar with Patrick Rhone, I recommend that you look into changing that. He’s an eloquent and intelligent gentleman who has written some great books.

One of the biggest impressions that comes across from following Patrick Rhone on Twitter is that he doesn’t seem to waste time. And so with that, when he posts a list of books he read in 2014, I find myself pretty interested.

His list is mostly comprised of books I haven’t read yet but when he describes Lexicon by Max Barry as “A thrilling and action packed novel about the power of words and the power of love”, I cannot argue with him.

Boom! Explosion!